some relief

I feel so relieved today. Maybe it's because I can see a path toward recovery. Maybe it's because I didn't feel so alone today. Maybe it's because I'm returning to a road I've already been down. It could be a combination things but today, for whatever reason, I have hope.
Today I visited my old TMJ specialist, the first of many 2 hr trips I will be making in the coming year. My hubby took me and was with me thru the long exam process. It's been 5 years since I was treated for my TMD. Doc says that my condition has gotten worse and while I will be going thru the same sort of thing, he reassured me that we are not starting back at square one. We know that the splints work to correct the problem at hand, so I will be going back to them.. a day appliance that I wear at all times and then a nighttime one that I sleep in. However, we also know that this doesn't prevent my jaw from dislocating. I will have the same problems as soon as I stop wearing the splints. He said that he has some clients that have gone to only the nighttime one and not had problems for 20 years. I guess this is the best I can hope for. It is a dysfunction of the joint that only gets worse in time. I am relieved to not have surgery as a consideration because that is a scary thing to think about.
For now, I am to continue the liquid/soft food diet but he gave me some new meds that will hopefully not cause the same kind of nausea that I've been dealing with. This will be an improvement. He also sent me home in a pain-release appliance that fits on my lower teeth and provides a sort of soft pillow for my upper teeth so my jaw can rest and relieve the pressure on the joint. It's going to take some time for the inflammation to go down in the jaw muscles. He said it's just like a sprained ankle, the tendons & ligaments need time to recover.
I'm impatient to get back to my normal function and MY LIFE! Ever notice how everything revolves around eating? Well it does. I'm sick of not being able to eat what I want. I'm sick of when people ask if I'm feeling better I have to either lie or feel pathetic for saying -uhh not really. Most of all I'm sick of the fatigue and dealing with the pain which has had me pretty down and feeling pitiful. I'm sick of not feeling like ME!
But more than anything I'm thankful. Thankful for a wonderful husband and an amazing support system of friends & family who care. I'm thankful for sweet, understanding kids who've done all they can think of to take care of Momma this past week. I'm thankful to God that it's not anything worse I'm facing and that even if it was, I know he's bigger than all of my problems. I'm thankful for a great doctor who makes me feel like he knows what I'm going thru and reassures me that we're going to conquer it together. I'm thankful for all the little things that have made me smile today and know that I have a lot more of that to look forward to. :)