Faith

We all have our own battles to fight, don't we? Life is full of struggles and chaos and pain at times. It's full of good things too. Isn't it funny that you feel surrounded by people during the good times. It's like when you are feeling great and all is well in your world that is when people come around. What about when things aren't so good?
Maybe it's just Satan getting his victory on me, but I feel so completely alone when I'm dealing with something in my life. I tend to feel down and discouraged and weak. I saw on the 30 day picture challenge that one of the topics is the person who has gotten  you thru the most in life and I immediately thought -God. It seems the only way I ever get thru anything is by prayer and surrender to God.
I try to be there for others. I don't know if that's ever made much of an impact in their lives, but I put my heart into it anyway. I pray for them, listen to them, encourage them, check in on them and just keep them in the forefront of my mind when I know they're going thru something difficult or trying. I feel like God has given me a heart for other people's pain & emotions. I actually hurt with them as I'm reaching out to a friend in need. But when I'm faced with my own pain I am the opposite. I retreat.
Feeling alone in my problems is probably my own fault. It seems I ignore it as long as I can until it's gotten so bad that I fall apart. Then I'm a mess. I feel negative energy around me and know that I shouldn't be around others in this state because it isn't reflective of God's grace & mercy and his power over all. I retreat into myself, drowning in self pity until I  finally let it go & turn it over to God. I hate this cycle. I pray that God will change this in me. I hate feeling like a completely different person during trials. I want to praise God and instead I wallow.
Lord, forgive me. I know nothing is so great that YOU can't get me thru. Help me to not let Satan steal my joy as you are triumphing over my pain. -Amen