Princesses are known for being kind, sweet, full of grace and honor.. honest. Tell that to my little girl who has just lied to me for the second time in a month. Last time I warned her that - lying is wrong, God says it is a sin, it hurts my feelings for her to lie to my face like that, I can no longer believe her or trust her, she'll always be in twice as much trouble for lying than she would be for just confessing, and of course.. that she'll get a spanking/grounding. Well apparently that all went in one ear & out the other.. or perhaps she needs me to PROVE that I mean business. That's according to the 'Strong Willed Child' book by the amazing Dr. Dobson.. the book that has become my instruction manual for Princess. It said that you have to earn the respect of your SWC at times. She could be simply saying to me "I don't think you're tough enough to be the boss of me."
This time is a pretty major offense. She cut her hair. I don't know how I didn't catch it sooner, maybe because she won't let me touch her hair these days. She's much to independent to let her Momma fix her hair. Well, apparently she cut herself some bangs at my sister's house awhile ago and I just saw it yesterday. She's been wearing her hair pulled back and even told me on vacation that she wants to cut it so it'll be short & her baby cousin can't pull it all the time. I've fought her for a year to get her to agree to a haircut. I should have suspected something was up. When asked about it she said
"NO Momma, NO! I didn't! I'm serious. I didn't cut my hair. I promise."I asked her over & over and she gave me the same solemn response. I'd almost believed her if it weren't for the proof in front of my face. I gave her "the look" and answered the ringing phone. She then comes into the room with a giant weight belt of her father's (like I'm really going to spank her with it, lol) and an intense look in her eyes. She tells me that she just didn't want to be in trouble and she's very sorry. She doesn't want a spanking because that would be too embarrasing and she just doesn't know what her punishment should be. She even wrote me a note. Good grief. I made her go clean her room & go to bed. I told her I was going to talk to her father about it before we decided
on anything.**Disclaimer: I took her picture telling her I was sending it to our hairdresser to see what she could do to fix it. I realize that is lying to her, lol, but I didn't want her thinking I found this little stunt amusing enough to photograph.**
Hi. I've been enjoying your blog ever since I found it, but today I just felt I needed to comment because my heart is really aching for you. We have all been there (feeling like we needed to do something we don't want to do in relation to one of our kids), and I know it is such a hard situation. Just know we are all out here praying for you and crossing our fingers for you. Also, I would never give someone else advice on how to discipline their kids (a totally private decision) but as I have found from my own mistakes (when I didn't "want" to do what I felt I "should" do) it is never a good idea to do things half way. It is better to find an alternative to the spanking, than to do it half way. Either do what you say (and mean it) or find an alternative. Just my two cents
ReplyDeleteThank you for reading my blogs. :) I totally agree that consistency is most important and half way does no good at all! Thanks for sharing your two cents!
ReplyDeletewe have a "consequences" jar. it's filled with little slips of paper that have yucky jobs on them (like: clean up the dog poop from the back yard, sweep the garage, fill a walmart sack with weeds, etc.). when the kids need a consequence that is more than the norm, they have to draw out of the jar and then do the task. here's the catch...one of the slips says "grace" on it. if the kid draws that one she doesn't have a chore (and the parent in charge draws one to do). we talk about how that is like God's grace. we deserve punishment, but He takes it for us.
ReplyDeleteWow, Emma, that is an awesome idea. I love it! When I read the world "grace" it brought instant tears to my eyes. What a wonderful way to teach them about Jesus. Thank you!
ReplyDelete