I'm so mad right now as I'm typing with tears streaming down my face. The hurt that I just experienced surrounding my little girl is almost more than I can bear. This is the hardest part of being a mother-knowing your precious angel has been damaged in some way and there's nothing you can do about it. When someone who your little one is supposed to be able to trust is hateful and thoughtless to them, they are crushed. My Princess has endured this pretty well and I've tried to explain that some people are just cranky or snotty sometimes and that they don't really mean to hurt us. Today though, she'd had her fill and she broke down. She fought to hold back her tears and just explained things to me calmly and then she said the saddest little words I've ever heard "I don't know what, Momma, but it kinda hurt my feelings." After saying that, the waterfall began. It was clear that by "kinda" she meant "really-but I'm trying to be tough about it." I let her cry as she recalled to me the glares, snide comments, sarcastic remarks, hateful words and tone of voice that had been bothering her but she'd not talked about until now. Most of it she didn't really understand, and she seemed confused about. We talked more before bed and she stressed over it like no 8 year old should ever have to. I said the prayer tonight and we prayed thanking God for all the people in her life who love her, especially Jesus. We also prayed for those who had hurt her.
With her Daddy out on fires, I'm dealing with this one alone. When we prayed for him & all the firefighters tonight, Superhero started crying. He was obviously feeling our stress because he dug out old stuffed animals from his Nana & Pappy saying it was close to his dad. Talking to Dad on the phone tonight was almost too much. I tucked both my babies into bed tonight wiping away tears and holding back my own. Being a mom is so hard sometimes. When your children are hurting, your heart just aches for them. God gives us the desire to protect them knowing we can't actually do it. It's such a conflict within us. I imagine God feels the same way about us.. His children. So I'm praying tonight for wisdom to know how to deal with all this, peace from knowing that He is taking care of my children when I am not there, and patience for ALL the children in my life.. because I hope I NEVER make a child feel the way mine did tonight.
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