Someone Else

Did you ever find yourself wondering what it would be like to be someone else? Even if only for a day you could walk in someone else's shoes, see things through someone else's eyes.. To be able to step outside of yourself & see the world in a different way would be amazing.

Often I wonder if the way I perceive things is tainted by past experiences, emotions, fears, and doubts more than by reality. I get annoyed with myself. I don't always like how I handle things or the way my brain shifts into auto-pilot when I'm hurt and my heart goes into self-protect mode by putting up a fortress around it. We get irritated at other people from time to time, no matter how much we love them, so wouldn't it make sense that we'd not like ourselves sometimes too. I mean we do spend an awful lot of time with ourselves & all.

If only there was this magic button we could press when we felt like we were too much of "ourselves" and could switch to being more like someone else. Say someone who usually walks all over you makes some critical comment and you flip the switch & suddenly you are that firey co-worker of yours who always has a comeback for everything. You snap back at them and they back down. Boom! Problem solved. Right? Well maybe not. It reminds me of "You've Got Mail" when Meg Ryan is upset that she never has something mean to say when she wishes she did and then there's that moment when she says exactly what she wanted to say in the right moment... AND... she feels terrible about it. Maybe that's just not us.. to say something hurtful to someone just to get them back. After all that leaves you with guilt on top of the hurt you feel from what THEY said to you in the first place. And the sad thing is, THEY don't feel guilty at all, but you know you will.

I guess it's not that I wish I could BE someone else really. Just that I wish I could be a little less ME sometimes. Less anxious. Less analytical. Less critical of myself. Less emotional. Less unorganized. Less naive. Less trusting. Less timid. Less introverted. Less, less, less.. caring? Yes. Sometimes I do wish I didn't care so much, seems like things would be easier.

I think the more you try to be something you're not, the more disconnected you'll feel, and the true you will come out anyway. I believe in self improvement, but there are just some things in your personality, your make up, that you just cannot change. So it goes back to the well known prayer:
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.