Thursday, October 19, 2017

Sepsis

Ok. I've debated this lol but feel I can't call myself a writer if I avoid the hard stuff so..here we are. First picture is my BP starting to bottom out on Thursday in ICU, second is after 4 bags of fluids I believe and things starting to stabilize on Friday, third is today after the remaining 5 bags of fluids, meds, etc and happy to be home. At least my face is looking a little better lol. Anyway, just have this on my heart to share. No matter how healthy and fit you are things happen. You are not God. You are not in control even when it starts to feel that way. Injuries happen, potentially deadly infections happen, diseases happen, accidents happen, mass-casualty incidents happen. You cannot stop these things because they are a part of this broken world. 
I find it ironic that I take such care to use natural products and eat clean as I can and pride myself on being as healthy as I can. Notice the word PRIDE. Now, I'm not saying these things are bad at all! They're great, but don't find your identity in being healthy or looking good because when something happens and this is taken from you you'll be devastated & lost & won't know who you are anymore. My identity rests in the only safe place and that is that I am a child of God. That can never be shaken. No power of hell, no scheme of man, can ever pluck me from His hand. So, yes I'm out of commission for awhile and yes I've had more chemicals & radiation & medication pumped into me than I would have allowed in more than a decade and yes I'm eating absolutely anything I can keep down right now and yes my yoga practice has come to a screeching halt.. BUT GOD. He remains. So I am not moved. I can look like this with 10 pounds of swelling, no hiding my flaws or really having any physical beauty to display, lol, and I can still be confident in my beauty through the power of the Holy Spirit inside of me. Jesus is the most beautiful thing ever created and I am joined to Him. THAT is all I need. Nothing in this shallow world can touch a woman who is Deeply Planted in her Lord & Savior 😉😘 
So shine your beautiful light my friends, and make sure it shines from within.

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