Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Anger is the result of frustrated expectations

No one in this world owes you a thing.. so when ya get to thinking somebody has let you down it's probably time to start checkin your expectations.

I've been switching from guilt to self loathing to hopelessness to depression to resentment & on it goes. As if I wasn't hard enough on myself. I just can't seem to keep from disappointing people these days.
I don't know how I can do it all.. it feels impossible when there's so much to do and so many people to keep happy and..  just like that it hits me..
You can't.
It's my old approval addiction rearing it's ugly head. I don't have to feel guilty for not living up to someone's expectations.


"Just do your best 'cause that's the best you can do."


I've gotta let it go. My apologies if I haven't been doing enough for you lately. I'm truly sorry I haven't been involved enough in your life. If you feel neglected or undervalued just know that wasn't my intention. I do care, in fact I care too much.

I've been pouring myself out into 24 little hearts, some of which break mine into a million little pieces. I've been fighting to stay on top of my paperwork piles, schedules, chores & to-do lists and at the top of my game each day because falling behind is not an option. I know you don't understand the depth of all that but all I'm asking for is a little grace. You don't know all the struggles I've had the past month and that's okay. God does. I don't need you to do anything for me. I just ask that you cut me some slack if I seem distracted or self absorbed. I really am doing the best I can.


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