Skip to main content


We all have our own battles to fight, don't we? Life is full of struggles and chaos and pain at times. It's full of good things too. Isn't it funny that you feel surrounded by people during the good times. It's like when you are feeling great and all is well in your world that is when people come around. What about when things aren't so good?
Maybe it's just Satan getting his victory on me, but I feel so completely alone when I'm dealing with something in my life. I tend to feel down and discouraged and weak. I saw on the 30 day picture challenge that one of the topics is the person who has gotten  you thru the most in life and I immediately thought -God. It seems the only way I ever get thru anything is by prayer and surrender to God.
I try to be there for others. I don't know if that's ever made much of an impact in their lives, but I put my heart into it anyway. I pray for them, listen to them, encourage them, check in on them and just keep them in the forefront of my mind when I know they're going thru something difficult or trying. I feel like God has given me a heart for other people's pain & emotions. I actually hurt with them as I'm reaching out to a friend in need. But when I'm faced with my own pain I am the opposite. I retreat.
Feeling alone in my problems is probably my own fault. It seems I ignore it as long as I can until it's gotten so bad that I fall apart. Then I'm a mess. I feel negative energy around me and know that I shouldn't be around others in this state because it isn't reflective of God's grace & mercy and his power over all. I retreat into myself, drowning in self pity until I  finally let it go & turn it over to God. I hate this cycle. I pray that God will change this in me. I hate feeling like a completely different person during trials. I want to praise God and instead I wallow.
Lord, forgive me. I know nothing is so great that YOU can't get me thru. Help me to not let Satan steal my joy as you are triumphing over my pain. -Amen



Popular posts from this blog

And everything has changed

I find it so hard to put this into words because it's so big, but I can try to sum it up by saying The Unedited Retreat pricked my heart & put me in a posture to truly hear from the Lord. And I am so grateful. My testimony begins last year at Pine Cove Family Camp when a verse struck me, hard. - Gal 2:20. Not that I hadn't heard it before but that maybe I felt it deeper. 
“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” ‭‭Galatians‬ ‭2:20‬ ‭ESV‬‬
No life of my own? Had I really been living that way? Complete surrender? I started "trying harder" after that.

I attended another Unedited Movement event in the fall with my eternity-friends. 😊 I came home & begged Mike to go with me to visit our Pastor. By God's grace my heart was dug up from where it had been buried under a moun…

The Chapter I Would've Chosen to Skip

Looking back on 2017 I find that the month of October just doesn't fit. It's in it's own category. It doesn't fit into my life..and maybe that's the point.
I started PT this week and had to start from the beginning and tell the whole story. So I thought I'd document it before I forget the details, before I lose the story.
On October 3rd I had a pretty minor procedure done in outpatient surgery. The next day back home and rested I was feeling great. Friends visited and I was sure I would be recovered in no time. That afternoon I loaded my kids up in the car commenting on how wore out and achy I felt and thinking I've overdone it and probably should've taken a nap. By the time I got to town dropping one kid off and headed to my next location I began to feel like my skin was burning and I was struggling to drive. I got to our gym and lay down in the lounge. I was shaking and crying and curled up in a ball by this point. My husband came and said he was taki…

The Problem is..

Every problem is rooted in sin.The problem actually IS sin. Whether it’s their sin, your sin, it’s all sin and it’s at the foundation of every conflict, hurt feeling, misunderstanding, and unloving act. Sin is our problem. It’s your problem.
Do you feel something in you that wants to flee right now? What if I said this to your face? Would you receive it?
It is in our nature to fight against it. We seem to want to point fingers, blame’s not us, it’s them. We have no sin, right? Of course not. Most people will admit that they are a sinner, but they will not own up to their actual sins. Instead we justify it, make light of it, try to explain it away. We call it a short-coming or maybe just a mistake. And everyone makes mistakes.
Why are we so adamant to deny our sin? Satan is the Father of lies
I just listened to a John Bevere video clip explaining that Hell was created for Satan not for man. It was a place for him & his angels. So he is out to deceive and mislead as…