Sunday, February 20, 2011

Sunday Stealing

..Stolen from TOY 2010 :) thanks Amy!

1. Make a list of 5 things that you can see without getting up:

1 A basket full of papers I should be grading right now instead of doing this
2 Leonardo DiCaprio.. on tv of course, remembering I was on a date when I first saw Titanic in theaters
3 Mike's laundry on the couch beside me
4 a cup Ally left on the in-table
5 my Uggs under the coffee table my feet are propped up on

2. How do you style your hair?

most days I just let it air dry and go with the natural waves, sometimes I blow dry & straighten it which takes forever cuz it's super thick and has gotten really long

3. What are you wearing now?

grey sweats and summit hoodie

4. What's your occupation?

1st grade teacher + full-time wife & mom

5. What do you hear right now?

water.. "I'll never let go Jack, I'll never let go!" lol

6. Who was the last person you hugged?

my wonderful mother-in-law who's keeping the kids tonite so I don't have to bring them out early in the morning

7. What is/was for dinner?

we grabbed Arby's on the way out

8. What did you do today?

overslept & missed church :(
made meals for 3 kids, cleaned house like crazy, dishes, laundry, fell back asleep, helped Ally with her room, vacuumed, drove kids out to in-laws' and took some Nyquil waiting to go to bed

9. Dog person or cat person?

not a pet person

10. If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

hmmm.. Idk, first name or last name? I'd sure take the last name Pitt if you catch my drift ;)

11. What was the last thing that you bought?

a hotel room, a limo & a meal at Crabtown :) great night

12. If you could afford to go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Greece.. or any white sandy beach with nice fruity drinks & lots of hot hot sun..

13. Where do you see yourself in five years?

probably right about where I am now

14. Where's your birthmark?

just above my chest near my armpits, the same on both sides, isn't that crazy

15. What are you doing this weekend?

this weekend is over, the next one hasn't been planned so I'm hoping that means it won't be real busy

16. Which book are you reading at the moment?

just finished Redeeming Love & Water for Elephants, not sure what I'm starting next

17. The last movie you've seen?

Titanic is ending on tv right now

18. What are you doing tomorrow?

professional day w/ my teacha-frenz which means an actual lunch! whoo! can't wait


Monday, February 14, 2011

an Audrey lost in a sea of Marilyns

We all know that every woman wants to be like Marilyn Monroe, right? Glamorous, Beautiful, Sexy, Adored, Striking- Well I'm sure no Marilyn, that much is for certain. I'd like to think I'm more of an Audrey Hepburn. Ahhhh Audrey.. if only.. to be that lovely, that classy, that put-together.. but what would -Her Fabulousness- be like in today's times?
Sometimes I feel like I'm an Audrey Hepburn character cast in the wrong movie.. in the wrong era. As if I'm in a movie about a brothel or something. Of course there's the Holly Golightly character one could argue. (Audrey fans will know what I mean.) But even in Breakfast at Tiffany's when she's supposed to be a sort of harlot, she still appears demure and poised.
Where would she fit walking around amidst the scantily-clad, brazen women of today in her pedal pushers & ballet flats? Would she even be noticed? Would her class get her anywhere today? I'd like to think so but sometimes I wonder.

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.
Audrey Hepburn

There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain. Audrey Hepburn 

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years. Audrey Hepburn

It's that wonderful old-fashioned idea that others come first and you come second. This was the whole ethic by which I was brought up. Others matter more than you do, so 'don't fuss, dear; get on with it.' Audrey Hepburn


Sunday, February 13, 2011

Truths Revealed from "Redeeming Love"

Reading this novel opened up my eyes to some things. (Don't you just love it when a book in some way opens your mind and reveals truth to you?) First there's the obvious relation of God's love for us being so amazingly unconditional and no matter how we continue to stray, he always takes us back. But deeper than that, I felt other truths coming to the surface.
1. You cannot let a person take priority above God in your life. So often we do this and not even realize it. Perhaps it's the kids, or spouse, or a friend, or parent. When you find yourself wanting to please that person in spite of what God's word says is pleasing to him, you are drifting off in to sin. As someone who loves deeply, I have many times found that when I get very close to someone and that sort of "worship" mentality comes to me, something always happens to sort of pull the rug out from under things. Either that person's human flaws come into play, or they are taken away from me for awhile. I hear a gentle voice in the stillness saying "you shall have no other Gods but me." Loneliness is what draws our souls to God. He is the only thing that satisfies. Depending on anyone else only leaves you feeling empty.
2. Wanting something that is right does not make it okay to want it more than anything else. God's will is what we should be seeking, not our own solution to our pain. We think we know what we need to be happy, but we don't see the bigger picture the way he does. It also becomes a sin when we desire something outside of God's will. I forget this all too often when I am hurting. I know what I want and I feel the pity taking over and instead of leaving it to God, I lose my joy and hope in his control over things. In the book so many times Michael Hosea asked God WHY? Why would you want me to face this? Why would you want me to hurt this way? Why do I have to feel so lonely and heartbroken over this woman who you've given me? Why won't she love me the way I love her? God's answer was always to wait. He was working it out. He had a plan all along. It wasn't about Michael or the amount of faith he had or what he deserved or how much God loved him. It was about her. Michael had to let her be changed by God, not by him.
3. God is enough. Seeking God, being filled with the Holy Spirit, crying out to Jesus has to be enough. If you lose focus on your relationship with God, you become discontent. It's like passing on the fresh spring water of God's grace and mercy to take a sip of the world's salt water. It will only leave you wanting more and will never be what you need. The more earthly pleasures you seek, the more desire will burn in you, the more empty you will feel. The only way to joy is God's love for us. God IS enough and we have to stop seeking that fulfillment elsewhere.
4. Sometimes you can hurt yourself more by trying to keep yourself from being hurt. This one is major. How often do we push people away in fear of being hurt by them? What about the walls we put up to keep people out or at a distance? It made me think of how I shell up, withdraw when I feel rejected or neglected.
5. The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heav’n of hell, a hell of heaven. MILTON
Read the book and you will understand the magnitude of this statement. All I can really say is -The mind is such a powerful thing.



I'm a nice person. I just am. I don't say that as a pat on the back kind of comment. I just mean that I veer more toward the nice side than the mean side of things. No one would ever be scared of me, lol. You could call this passive or meek or doormat and you'd probably get my meaning better. It's what's easier for me, to play nice. I find it difficult to speak up when I should or not be taken advantage of. I've become painfully aware of this and have been feeling sick of it.
So when a situation arose recently that I had to say something rather confrontational, I took a deep breath and just plunged into it. I didn't say much, just enough I thought. When I was met with defensiveness I simply answered that with the same straightforwardness and then considered the matter closed. I walked off without really thinking another thing of it.
Apparently I was the only one who felt calm in that situation. I later learned that this person had gone around bad-mouthing me to several people who then of course came and told me about it. This made me feel angry at first. I thought, wow, if this person thinks I was hateful, then they're gonna have trouble adjusting to what is in store for them that's for sure! I felt bitter about all the confrontations and harshness I've encountered and how easy I was on this person when it was my turn to do the confronting. After that came the guilt. This person does not know me, at all. They don't know that I veer on the side of nice on most occasions. They don't know that I'm the last person to get mad about little things and definitely the last to confront someone about it.
I contemplated how I  could rectify the situation. Should I go to them and apologize? Did I do anything wrong? What would I be apologizing for? Should I ask them why they felt I was hateful? Wouldn't that just be another confrontation that apparently this person doesn't like? I've finally decided that I can't control how other people react to things. I know I was not in fact, harsh or hateful and there's really nothing I can do to convince them of this. I will just let this go and be more soft when I speak to them next time. I will remember that this person is very sensitive to criticism.
Once again, I will not sweat the small stuff. I will let this person continue to avoid me and whisper behind my back and just leave it to God.. where it, and everything else.. belongs.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Redeeming Love

Love the Lord your God, and love one another. Love one another as he loves. Love with strength and purpose and passion and no matter what comes against you. Don’t weaken. Stand against the darkness, and love. That’s the way back into Eden. That’s the way back to life


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

a Break

I am pouring coffee into a thermos and grabbing lunch out of the refrigerator when I hear something shatter on the floor. I look down to see a huge pile of red stuff on my boot and running down my leg. I see it's a brand new bottle of picante sauce that has fallen out of the fridge and broken. A quick glance at the clock reminds me that I have kids waiting in the car and will be late if I attempt to clean up this mess. Fighting tears of frustration I grab a rag and wipe the salsa off of me the best I can thanking my lucky stars that I'm not wearing my Uggs today. I shout out "seriously!" and throw the rag back in the sink. Figuring the snow will clean off the rest off my boot I jump over the pile on the floor and am out the door.
I'm a big proponent of "don't sweat the small stuff," but moments like this sure test my resolve on that issue. I didn't let it ruin my day, but coming home to the mess I had to clean up was sure not fun. It's funny how things like that only happen at the worst possible time. My patience has been thru the ringer lately. I know God has a plan and a reason for everything, but I gotta say I'm kinda hoping I've had enough of the patience-building events for awhile. I could use a break! 

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