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just when Satan swoops in

I hate this feeling.. this feeling of restlessness.. I feel overwhelmed with what all I "should" be doing at this very moment.. instead of enjoying every minute of the holiday & the fact that the Firefighter got to take the day off to stay home with us, I'm battling feeling lazy and then guilt from being lazy. We've been discussing what we want to do - sell our house & find a bigger one, build one out on the family land, just buy a lot & build, or start some major rennovations to the house we have, ugh, like we have time for any of that mess!.. when we get to talking about big decisions like that I just want to run & hide. I hate conflict, I hate indecision, I hate wasting my energy on things that might never happen. I'd much rather just feel peace and stay where we're at. I know that there is no growth w/out change so why do I fight it so much? I just want to avoid stressful times is all.. There's just so much to do and I don't know where to begin.. I feel like a failure sometimes because I let it all pile up on me and things seem so much easier for other people.. THEN.. Just when Satan swoops in to steal my joy for the moment by pileing feelings of powerlessness on top of me a thought pops into my head.. at least we have a home.. That's all. Just one thought of thankfulness for the home God has provided us and those other feelings melt away. My sister said "battling self-pity with my sword of thankfulness" and she is so very right. Why let those feelings overwhelm me and steal my joy when I've got a healthy loving husband right here and our two precious children, and we have all day with no obligations just to spend time together in our cozy home. How blessed I am. So many things could be going on right now, I don't even want to begin to think of the hard times we could be dealing with.. and we're not. Everything is fine. So I take a deep breath.....say a little prayer of thanks.... and go cherish each moment I have today with my family... nice try Satan. :)


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