Saturday, November 14, 2009

Being a mom is hard sometimes..

In all the commotion of taking pictures & then eating dinner out & renting movies & spending some family time together, I completely forgot about my DD's surprise tooth falling out. That's why I had such a hard time waking up this morning & understanding what my distraught little girl was talking about. I'd been in a deep sleep with an intense dream going on and there she was standing by my bed on a Saturday at not quite 8:00 in the morning. My first thought, of course, was selfishly "so much for sleeping in ONE day a week.." My second thought was why on earth does she need glitter this early in the morning?! And as her words finally hit home, my final thought was "OH NO! I FORGOT ABOUT THE TOOTH FAIRY!"

My sweet & innocent little princess was asking for glitter to put on her letter she'd written to the tooth fairy. She said that she woke up and her tooth was still under her pillow where she'd put it the night before without saying a word to me about it. She said she wanted to ask the tooth fairy if she'd done something wrong. My heart broke at those words and I went to find her some glitter. She'd sprayed the note with her body spray because she thought the tooth fairy would like it to smell good. She put stars on it with tape and had it laying on her pillow. I began my feeble explanations of how the tooth fairy must not have been able to find it in her messy bed with pillows & blankets & crazy hair everywhere. She giggled but didn't look too convinced. We put her tiny tooth in her special tooth fairy pillow and I reassured her that tonight the Tooth Fairy would for sure be able to find it. Then she reminds me that she will be staying the night with a friend following the birthday party. She wants to take the note & her Tooth Fairy pillow with her. Thoughts of her friend's mom hearing this story & reading the heartbreaking letter fill me with dread before I even think of how I'd have to have her take care of the tooth & money situation and I carefully convince Princess that the Tooth Fairy is probably disapointed that she couldn't find the tooth and will come back to our house tonight looking for it. So now she is in her room, cleaning up, making her bed and positioning her letter & special pillow at the top so that it can't be missed. I guess this will be a funny story someday, but right now I just feel guilt. GUILT. GUILT deep in the pit of my stomache. How can I be so self absorbed sometimes? To some it's just a tooth, but it's not "just a tooth" to her. To her it's everything right now. I hope I can fix this and let go of the guilt. It's certainly not the first time I've messed up as a mom, no one is perfect, I know. But just look at this precious letter and tell me how to not to feel guilty!

2 comments:

  1. The best part is they love us in spite of our "mistakes"! Being a mom is hard sometimes....but it comes with the biggest rewards. I'm looking forward to teaching with you at the new ecc and getting to know you better. Melissa

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  2. Thank you Melissa! I can't wait to get to work with all you ladies. It'll be so cool to have all the first grade together!

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