Superhero flies

This is a short video taken a few years ago while we played in the pool. My little Superhero has always loved the water.. and here his Daddy & Uncle help him to F L Y . . .

It's your choice

Change is inevitable. That's what they say - that nothing stays the same. How can it in this world that is constantly moving. People change. How can they help it? We are constantly influenced by the world around us.. by the people around us. Emotions, experiences, events - they change us. Sometimes we can see it coming. Like seeing two cars headed straight at each other over a hill on a highway. You don't have time to stop it from happening. You yell & yell at them, but they don't listen to you. All you can do is stand there and watch.. and wait.. for the collision. And just like that, things change, just like you knew they were about to. You know in your heart that it won't ever be the same.
It's in our nature to resist change. To hold on to what once was. To desire what you once had. But it doesn't do any good. You can't get it back. It's time to move on now. If you try to hold onto someone who is trying to get away you waste your time and energy and they will resent you for it in the end. You are restricting them. You are demanding. You are holding them back. That isn't love, it's selfishness. You are simply putting what you want over everything else. You have to let them go. You have to quit clinging to the past and just let them go. The freedom that they now have is theirs to do with as they please. Now it is a choice. Now if they choose to keep you in their life it is a choice made w/out resentment or guilt. It may take time for them to figure out what they want. But you don't want to keep someone against their will. You want them to come to you freely, to choose you.
It's just like the way God designed our salvation. He doesn't want to force us to come to Him. He wants us to choose to come to Him. He's made it our choice. Free will is a beautiful thing. Out of it comes true, pure, unconditional love.. the only kind worth having.

TOTALLY random! lol

We don't always get to choose the people in our lives. Sometimes they choose us. In fact what are the odds that the person who you most adore will adore you the most back? Rare, I'd say.

I like to seek out the good in people and there's certain qualities I admire: honesty, loyalty, sincerity, generousity, kindness, straight-forwardness, character, grace.. but the people we gravitate toward aren't always ones with these same qualities. In fact they may be lacking in what we value, but rather are outgoing, charming & full of witt or sarcasm or humor. It's the people who, for some reason, when we leave their presence, we feel good, and we're not sure why. These people want everyone to like them and they usually succeed. I mean, how could you not? They are fun to be around. It might be that these people have qualities that you wish you had. The problem with that is that they have lots of friends, and only ever let maybe two or three really "in." So when you're on the outside of that, and you love & care about them but hate how they don't tell you things or you feel like they don't care, you start to feel a little disillusioned. Like they've fallen from grace, so to speak, in your eyes. Maybe they're not as wonderful as we thought. NOT that you had any right to put them on a pedestal in the first place of course. Then you turn it on yourself & say maybe "I'm" not that wonderful and that's the problem. After all, who says we deserve anything from anyone anyway?
I was watching Grey's re-runs the other night & the thought hit me - I'm Izzie! That's me. There's always been a Meredith in my life who everyone thought was amazing & who I adored & would've done anything for.. and then the Yang came. So Izzie is nice to Yang & the three hang out all the while knowing that Yang & Meredith are each other's number 1 and Izzie is kinda just on the sidelines, along for the ride. Who is her number 1? And the sad thing is that Meredith & Yang feed off each other's negativity, they actually reinforce each other's issues and make them worse. Kinda a misery loves company thing I guess. And yet, we all love the two of them together, it's my favorite element of the whole show!
Now don't get me wrong, I know I have lots of friends, really good ones, who are amazing & I love them so much it hurts sometimes. I guess that's just the way God made me, a deep feeler.. if that's even a word, lol. I'm okay with that. I know that comes with pain sometimes, but I'm willing to take the risk with people because I believe people are what matters. Lol, that's exactly the phrase Meredith & Yang poke fun at and disagree with on one episode so that shows I wouldn't be cool enough to hang w/ them! Ha! It's okay to be Izzie tho. She may not have always gotten what she wanted in way of friendships, but what she did get was love. Real love. And she wasn't afraid to jump in head first even after she'd been hurt before.. and it was so worth it in the end. Yep, I'm definately Izzie :)

School is back.. so is dance on Tues with karate Mon & Wed.. crazy evenings trying to squeeze everything in and still get to bed at a decent time.. waking up early.. encouraging the kids to "hustle" in the mornings so we can get out the door and get in the car line at my son's school then rush a few blocks over to park and run in the door at mine & my daughter's school.. promising myself that I won't stay very late after school today in my classroom then rushing off to p/u the Superhero from daycare and frantically trying to get dinner on the table before the Firefighter gets there.. aching feet, back pain and HEADACHES!! GERMS are back.. with my sore throat & cough leading the way.. the feeling of fatigue & mental exahustion and stress wearing me down.. weekends feeling like a total God-send and Mondays feeling like a small idea of hell on earth..



What's gone is my time, a clean house, empty laundry hampers, my brain, sleeping in, lazy days, long nights, my peace & patience, time w/ my friends, my ability to talk about anything not related to school, my immune system, my typical cheery optimism, my ENERGY!



The kiddos are in kindergarten & 2nd grade now. I'm determined not to get too consumed in my work and keep my focus on God, my marriage and our kids. They are growing so fast and I know..

It won't be like this for long.

and

I don't want to miss a thing.

So in this crazy year that blows by me I hope to take things in stride and not get too run down or discouraged.. Keep my eyes on the Lord & know He's working things out for His Glory. My sweet babies are what's important and they're going to have a GREAT year! And I want to make sure that I'm "there" to be a part of it!

Celebrate - 8 years of marriage

On August 18, 2001 I married my best friend. My Dad walked me down the aisle. I was wearing my Grandmother's wedding gown and holding a special bouquet from my amazing new mother-in-law. The best man, my new brother-in-law, played a song written just for us as we lit the unity candle.

Our wedding day is here. Sooner than we'd planned. It wasn't as we expected. Time has sifted like sand..

And it really doesn't matter now. Cause I know that we were meant to be. Only love can make this difference -cause this change in me. And our two hearts, join together as one. Our two hearts, joined together as one..

I look forward to every day, to see your smiling face. We'll live as God intends and be sustained by grace..

We were just twenty years young and had a hard road ahead of us. By the time 2004 rolled around we had two kids and I had just graduated college. For our five year anniversary we got to go to a resort in Jamaica to finally have a real honeymoon. Yes, we had humble beginnings and we've come so far from that day. And I wouldn't change a thing!

I think it's important to celebrate every chance you get. Celebrate each year of marriage because you've defied the odds once again! Celebrate each year you've been on this earth because each day is a gift! Be thankful for every single moment because this moment is your life!

Celebrating 8 years of marriage!!! Ya-hooooooooo! :)

When you're faced with a challenge, what do you do?

Do you run and hide?

Do you face it head-on?

Do you pray harder or try to bargain with God?

What if you can see the storm coming off in the distance and you know it's about to hit but there's no escape. Like you hear the train coming around the track and you're unable to move so all you can do is stand there and wait to be struck with it.

Is it, perhaps, a battle to fight?

Is it God being the potter and you the clay?

Is it a test?

Is it just the consequences of a fallen world?

Is He using you to help someone?

When you see difficult times coming, how do you prepare? Falling completely apart, crying like a baby and feeling deeply sorry for oneself seems to be the likely option. However, God calls us to stand firm in faith. To face adversity with a knowing that God is on our side. It goes back to "God will never give me more than I can handle" and "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Knowing this, how can we fear anything? I think for me it's not the fear of survival, it's an avoidance of pain or hardship. I know that if He brings me to it, He'll get me through it. I believe that whole-heartedly. Yet I know that "getting through" something doesn't sound all that appealing to me. I know it could come at a cost. I know it will be unpleasant and could break me down. I know we are called to suffer sometimes, as Christ did on the cross. There is a time and a season for every purpose under Heaven. I just find myself telling God "nooooooo" like my children whine to me whenever I say it's bedtime. I know He knows best and that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. I know these things. I could give myself the best pep talk I could get- a you can do it, be positive, be strong, have faith, do not grow weary but look forward to the goal to obtain the prize for which you were called, atta boy. The strong sense of self-protecting avoidance is still there. I guess that's my flesh talking. Here I am trying to protect myself from God!?! How foolish! My Father knows best & I committ myself into His hands once again and prepare myself Spiritually to face whatever trials may come. I will praise Him in the storm.

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave to fear, but you received the spirit of sonship.. we are God's children.. heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. Romans 8:15-17

Toy snake proves to be dangerous

So Princess is sitting on the couch watching TV even though I've hollered twice now that it's time to get ready for bed. I'm on the computer at the moment so the kids know they won't get an immediate reaction to their ignoring me. Grrrr.. Then all of a sudden I hear this piercing, blood-curdling scream! I bolt through the door to find her having a complete come-apart. She's screaming and shaking and I'm in a complete panic. I finally get out of her that she's popped herself in the face with a rubbery toy snake. After some time, I get her eyes open and see that it's the left eye that's taken the brunt of the attack. It is red, blood shot, and glassy.
It is determined eventually that she's okay. I give her some Motrin and get her laying down in bed with a cold washcloth covering her eyes. The firefighter gets home from karate and checks her all out adding an icepack to the treatment. I tell her if it's not better in the morning then we'll go see the doctor.
Ten minutes before her hair appointment I am at my witts' end. She won't get up! She's crying and covering her eyes and it's still pretty red. It's obvious that she has some popped blood vessels, but I just don't think it should be hurting this bad so I call the doctor. We are advised to see an eye doctor immediately and call them back if we can't get in soon. After waiting for an hour, the eye doctor confirms the need for the appointment. He says it's a really good thing I brought her in because it doesn't look good. He dialates her eyes and we wait another 30 minutes. He then looks at the eye with the microscope thingy and says

there is significant swelling in the retina that he fears will lead to a detached retina in the left eye.

Swallowing back that fear I ask as many questions as I can think of and am told there's really no treatment. We have to go back in a week to be sure that hasn't happened. He spoke very seriously with her telling her if she feels sudden pain or can't see or it seems like a curtain is covering part of her eye she needs to let me know right away so I can rush her in. A detached retina would require us to take her to the city for some sort of surgery. In the meantime she should "avoid strenuous activities but should be allowed to have fun & be a kid."
I can't believe this happened. Apparently she was pulling the snake back with her foot and holding the head & tail in her hands like you would stretch a rubber band. She kept telling me that she wishes this happened to Sponge Bob and not her. (They watched an episode the other day where he gave himself a black eye trying to open toothpaste or something.. I hate that show.) She asked if she's going to have her first black eye ever. She doesn't realize it's worse than a black eye! The stupid thing actually hit her eyeball! The eye doctor said "it sure tattooed her eye good" whatever that means! She insisted on going to dance this afternoon, but I stayed the whole time to keep an eye on her. She did fine except when they were stretching down to touch their toes. I think the being upside down part must've hurt. Poor thing. Why do the craziest things happen to kids?

Remembering to breathe

Here it comes again.. the anxiety. Deep breathing can't seem to supply enough oxygen and I feel this nervous energy taking over me. My heart races at the thought:
school starts next week.

It's excitement too of course. I can't wait to meet all the new little angels in my life who I will be caring for, encouraging, challenging (and who will be challenging me.) I can't wait to see my students from the previous years too. I love watching them go by marveling at how much wiser and more mature they are, and thinking perhaps I had a small hand in that. I'm looking forward to being around teachers again - the only other people on earth who truely know what I feel and how completely all-consuming this "job" is. It's nice to be a part of something that matters, to be working together for a common goal, and to be building together the future, which is too deep to comprehend. They are my life-line from August to May.

It's not a feeling of dread really, more of sheer panic. Is summer really over? How can that be? I didn't get to half of the things I swore I was going to accomplish. Wow! How am I ever going to start getting up at 5:30 again? How will I get the kids up? What if I have some meanie parent who hates me? How will I handle all the challenges I'm facing this year in the classroom? How many kids are they going to cram in my room this year? Is my room really ready? Am I?

Of course we're never really "ready" I don't think. We just have to prepare as much as possible and be ready to roll with the punches. Punches that seem to keep coming faster & harder sometimes. I don't know how anyone could be a teacher without feeling it was some sort of higher calling. I mean why would you put yourself through all that just for a measly paycheck? Answer is - you wouldn't. This kind of job you have to love. You can kinda hate it sometimes too and definately not always like it, but you always have to love it deep down. You love the kids, you love the job.. maybe not all the junk that comes with the job, but you just love teaching. This job you have to filter out the negative and look for the good. Me personally, I have to look for God. I have to pray for each student I have and ask for blessings for them and their families. I ask Him to renew my love for each child each morning knowing that I simply could not do this without Him.

As each evening draws to a close now, this second week of August, I get the butterflies. I get the feeling of having so much to do very soon and so little time to do it. I am overwhelmed with what if's and fears. I stare off into space when someone is talking to me because I'm lost in my head thinking of what I want to do to set the tone for the year on the first day. I can't concentrate on my grocery shopping list because I'm caught up with finding new fun things for my treat drawer. My chest is tight and I'm light headed and then I realize I've forgotten to breathe. I think that's the key to starting a new school year. I need to ask God to remind me to breathe, to take things one step at a time, and that He will give me the tools to do the job He has called me to do.
"..in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us." Romans 8:37

Special Pillows

Today my little SuperHero received a special package in the mail. He was so excited! For me?! He couldn't believe there was something for him in the mailbox. I gave it to him and he tore into it. Out pops this cute little Tooth Fairy Pillow with a special pocket to put his lost tooth in. (He's so proud to be big enough to have lost his first tooth!)

Also inside was a letter from the Tooth Fairy herself. It had sparkles (fairy dust) on it. As I read it to him he giggled and said whoa over and over. His sister sees it and of course runs in the other room to get her prized letter from the Tooth Fairy & Tooth Pillow that she received back when she first started losing teeth.

These can be special ordered with your child's name & everything. Just go to http://www.sharpcreations.com/ to see the whole line of products. We have personalized pillowcases for each of them as well as the tooth pillows and my kids love them.

Great gift idea for all ages! Easy to order from the website. Fast shipping. Good prices. Excellent customer service. I highly recommend this company!

Sunday's sermon really got me thinkin

There are two kinds of battles we fight in this world. The first kind (the kind I like) are the ones where God calls us to be silent, stand firm, and let him do the fighting for us. This is our Salvation. He has given me everything. All I had to do was take it. He has done it all. All I had to do was say Yes!

This is the battle the Israelites were fighting when God parted the Red Sea and beat the Philistines. Moses only had to have Faith! I love when Faith is all that is required don't you?

Then further along in Exodus you find another kind of battle for Moses. The Amalekites attacked. Now this fight required more than Faith, it also required action. Moses said that he would stand on the top of the hill with the staff of God in his hands. As the battle ensued Moses held up his hands as he said he would. When they were raised, the Israelites were winning. When he grew weary and lowered them, they were losing. Now, my favorite part of this story is that Moses wasn't alone. He had two friends with him who brought him a stone to sit on and when he could hold up his arms no longer, they each took one and held them up for him.

"Aaron and Hur held his hands up-one on one side, one on the other- so that his hands remained steady til sunset. So Joshua overcame the Amalekite army with the sword." Exodus 17:12-13

When we are focused on God and have our hands raised to the sky, we are winning our battles aren't we? But when we grow weary and lose focus we start to lose. If you're like me, you're wondering now 'where are the Aaron & Hur's in my life?' Who comes and holds up your hands for you when you can no longer do it alone? Who strengthens and supports you and prays for you and with you? Who speaks truth to you and stays with you until the battle is won?

Well, first of all, someone can't be that for you unless you let them. If you don't share your struggles with them how will they even know you need them?

Secondly, are you being an Aaron in someone else's life? You're not always the Moses ya know. In some stories you're the supporting cast not the leading role.

The night before Jesus was arrested He called on His disciples to stand watch & pray. He wanted them to help Him hold His hands up. What did the disciples do? Do you know? They fell asleep! There are times we might find that we are alone as well. Perhaps the people in our lives are "asleep." We can do as Jesus did and overcome by the Grace of God. He prayed, he spoke scripture, He praised God, He did not engage in temptation but kept His focus solely on Heaven.. and He cried out to God.

"And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground." Luke 22:44

We can persevere even if we don't have an Aaron or Hur handy at the moment. It requires more passion and focus and prayer, for sure. But it can be done. How blessed are we though, to have a friend by our side to fight our spiritual battles with us and us for them.

"By yourself you're unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn't easily snapped." Ecclesiastes 4:12 MSG

Good when He gives, supremely good; Nor less when He denies: Afflictions, from His sovereign hand, Are blessings in disguise.

White Water Rafting

While we were on vacation with my family in Colorado, my dear husband & brother-in-law decide that we HAVE to go on a float trip through the Royal Gorge. My sister and I have never done any rafting before so we nervously agree. When we get there, the guide is telling us it is a 15 mile, 13,000 ft drop with Class 1-4 rapids. He calls it a half-day Intermediate course. Intermediate? I believe we're beginners. As panic sets in my sister picks up her Bible and finds a verse for us to meditate on before we go.

"I call upon the Lord and He answers me, He will calm all my fears." Psalms 34:4

So I start saying this over and over as I struggle into a wetsuit (which is, in itself a ridiculous task.) We board the bus and adorn ourselves in life jackets, booties, and helmets. The guide then tells us we shouldn't need our helmets just yet, the bus ride should be pretty safe, lol. He explains what to do should we run into trouble. As he goes into the procedures for self-rescue, falling out of the boat, flipping the boat, hitting rocks, and saving others I start hyperventilating.

We load the raft & I discover there are no seats. You simply perch yourself on the side and dig your feet into the cracks. Our first rapid was a Class 2. It was fun and we figured out the rowing in unison pretty good I thought. My sister starts squealing the reminder of "THAT WAS A CLASS 2? WHAT WILL A CLASS 4 BE LIKE??!?!" I lean forward and tell my DH that I'm now really really mad at him for making me do this!

Our first Class 4 we dug in and rowed with all our might. I will admit it was exhilarating. I'll never forget how the drop felt. It was the first time when my paddle caught only air which was a terrifying experience to say the least. We got through it fine, but the raft behind us did not. They sunk down in a hole causing a girl to fall over backwards onto a rock and remain stranded there. A guy was thrown into the water as the raft went on without him. "FORWARD" our guide yelled. We got to him at the end of the rapid and my hubby leaned out, grabbed a hold of him and pulled him into our boat. We watched as the girl was thrown a rope and told to jump in and swim! After a time of her protesting this idea and shaking her head violently they finally convinced her to do it. She jumped and the guides pulled her quickly to the side of the river and got her out.

The rest of the trip down the river wasn't as eventful. We continued with me praying and quoting scripture in my head while we took on rapid after rapid. The Class 2's were now going completely unnoticed. The feeling of the raft leaving my body in the drops, hitting rocks with my paddle now along with getting only air, and my fingers aching from gripping the paddle so hard were all merely sensations as I felt a complete out-of-body experience. The view of the Royal Gorge from the river was breathtaking and I was actually enjoying myself. Then the rain hit. I say rain but what I really mean is hail. It was full of lightning and thunder too which was pretty intimidating from down in the canyons. The last two miles of the trip we rowed trying to stay warm and use our helmets & life jackets to protect ourselves from the hail. By the time we reached the end and went to load the bus I was freezing cold and struggling to breathe. I have to say though that I don't know when I've ever felt more ALIVE. And to be completely honest.. I'll probably go again.